Monday, September 26, 2011

I'm Trying To Choose Authenticity (the short version)

(I've written 2 versions of this post.  One is the Real Truth, the other is the "Reader's Digest" version.  I'm too afraid to publish the other version now, even on this little blog not even my husband reads.....)

I read a lot.  I read books, I read blogs--I have at least 20 blogs that I keep up-to-date with through my email, and another 10 or so blogs on my Google homepage.  I've always been a reader.

Earlier this year, I read an amazing, gut-wrenching, life-changing book called I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power by Brene Brown.  (#20 on my book list, on the sidebar--->)  It's me to a T--I get very hung-up on this idea of having the IMAGE of a perfect life to the point of making myself and my family miserable, and making myself physically ill.  And then this summer, in the throes of the hardships of LIFE, I read a column on Christy Tomlinson's blog about this topic and I was inspired to address the issue on my own blog

But like other Life Lessons, it takes a long time to learn, a long time where there is nothing but failure, and a hard journey to walk alone.  This book addresses the issue of SHAME and how the burden of it weighs us down, sometimes to the point of not being able to breathe or even function "normally."

I have major depressive disorder--and because of the constant shame I feel, NO ONE knows the truth of my life.  But, my point to this post: I came across a little "badge" on another blog, and when I clicked on it, I found myself on Brene Brown's website.  I didn't even know she had one!  I was astounded, and once again awed by the kind of "coincidence" that comes only from God's Love.   So I've added the badge to my little blog, at the top, right over there----->  I'll see it every time I proofread a post, and try every day to live up to this new AUTHENTIC LIFE.

Obviously, I'm not doing a great job of it, but: baby steps, Kimmy, baby steps........
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